Year of New

Starting this blog post was very difficult. Not because I had writer’s block or lacked inspiration but because I looked down at the keyboard and my knuckles were ashy as hell. Big ups to the travel size bottle of Jergens on my desk!

Ok. I am back in the game and I can go for it.

So back in January 2018, I made the conscious decision that for every month in the year, I would do something I’ve never done before. It could be an array of things as long as it was something fresh or new. I will admit that I am proud of myself because I kept up with this idea for the entire year. Some of you may read this and think some of my activities come off as lame, or minuscule. Guess what? Kiss my ass. It’s my escapades. My cherry getting popped. So sit back and enjoy the adventures of Mr. Uncle Chris.

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I wanted to start things out with a bang. Pun intended. Therefore, I decided to go to a gun range for my birthday. I have never shot a gun before and I was low key scared. My friend Tiffany and I hit up the DFW Gun Range. Tiffany is not the best person to shoot with because she is a complete fool. We had a great time. I did a decent job with the Glock. If any of you now me though, I was over it after about 10 minutes. The constant loud noise was irritating and got on my nerves. Tiffany was over it too. Needless to say, we bounced but not before giving our leftover ammunition to the family next to us as they were also celebrating a birthday. We capped off the evening with dinner at Dick’s Last Resort another first for me.

January was a busy month for me. I guess. Not really. I also cooked some dishes I have never made before. On New Year’s Day I decided to make some black eye peas. Gotta have black eye peas for the new year. If not, my grandma would be rolling over in her grave. Lawd! They were good. And I am not just saying so because I made them but my mama co-signed and that was all the validation I needed. I also baked a Bass filet. Seasoned to perfection!

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While I was teaching, (blog posts about that to come) I met another teacher by the name of Mr. Johnson. He is such a kind man and really helped me out in my time of need as a first year teacher. During this time, being in the classroom was killing me softly. I think out of pity, Mr. Johnson invited me to Dallas Stars game. I don’t think I would have gone on my own and it was so fun! However, I was pissed because no fights broke out on the ice.

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New experiences don’t always have to be about spending money especially when you ain’t got it. Let me just say, there is only so much you can do on a teacher’s salary. As Spring was among us, I decided to blossom as it pertains to dating. I ventured out and went on date with a white dude. I blogged about this in a previous post called Ebony & Ivory so I won’t dive into all the details. Just know it was over after he kept calling himself a “nigga!” Word to wise. Be careful who you link up with in Growlr.

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I never proclaimed that all of my experiences would be a thrill. Unfortunately, April was a boring month for me but I still managed to teach a math class. One of my co-workers had to leave school early and asked that I cover her class. Reluctantly, I said yes. She provided the lesson plan and all the materials needed. My mind automatically went back to when I was in middle school. I’ve never had an affinity for math. I pulled myself together and was able to teach the babies a little something. Thank God I didn’t have any smart asses in the class trying question me about the lesson. If they did, I had some Takis to shut them up. Middle school kids are like dope fiends when it comes to Takis.

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Two words! JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE! When I heard JT was coming back to Dallas for the Man of Woods tour I got my ticket with the quickness. I was still on high from the 20/20 Experience album but pissed because I didn’t go to the concert. Not long afterwards, he released the Man of the Woods album. I had more pissed off on me! I couldn’t understand the direction JT was going in. I considered selling my concert ticket because I was not trying to hear this wilderness shit. I bit the bullet and headed to the show at the American Airlines Center. When I got there, I ran into my old co-worker Jaime! It was great seeing her. The show was good but not good enough for me to go on about so I won’t. You’re welcome.

I look stupid and musty.

I look stupid and musty.

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“Hakuna Matata! What a wonderful phrase. Hakuna Matata! Ain't no passing craze.

It means no worries. For the rest of your days. It's our problem-free philosophy.
Hakuna Matata!”

Yes, my big grown behind went to see the Lion King by myself! So what. And you better not say nothing smart. It was an amazing show.

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July was a snoozer. I didn’t do much because it was hot and my titties were probably sweating. I moved from Garland to Dallas so I was somewhat consumed with the move along with settling into my new job at AT&T. I have always wanted to live in the city of Dallas and work for AT&T in downtown. So, I guess those are my experiences for the month. Oh! I also ate some candy from Italy at a candy store called Sugarfina and tried medium rare bison from Central Market. lol

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When my first date with a guy outside of my race failed, I decided to give it one more go. I got back on Growlr to see what I could see. Strike 2.

For more details, again please see the post Ebony and Ivory. This time I actually kissed a white man! Umm…well…..yeah…..I don’t know how to describe it nicely. Someone with class may say this kiss leaves more to be desired. I think that’s a nice way of putting it. All I could think was, “where are your lips?” It was a lot of teeth and mustache action! Me no gusta.

I also booked a trip to several countries in Europe which will take place in 2019. This will be my first time in Spain, France and Italy. Did I mention I will be traveling alone? Stay tuned!

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Please see the Frankie Beverly and Maze post for further details.

Also in September, I dated a dude out of state that ended with my feelings hurt. Once I get the energy, I will tell you all about this 5 minute situationship that was a complete and utter waste of time and money. Lawd, my money!

I started my blog in October. It’s reception has been overwhelming and I’ve been enjoying ushering you all to and thru my crazy mind.

If you have been reading my blogs and it has not been apparent that I’m a music fan then something is either wrong with you or me. More than likely it’s you.

Bruno Mars made my entire month of October! I wrote a blog about it….wanna read it? Here ya go!

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Okay, so don’t judge me. Full disclosure! Today is November 28th. I decided to get a head start on this blog because I know the end of year will be here before I know it and I wanted to have this content out. It dawned on me as I was wrapping up October that I really didn’t do much in November. My good friend Stephany and I made plans to try indoor skydiving at iFly. Well when I went to make my reservation, the holy ghost said, “log into your Wells Fargo account fool”. I am obedient to the Lord, so I mashed in my account info and it became evident that I didn’t have no iFly money. I quickly called my girl and was like look, this account is telling me to sit my black ass down. I’ll holla next time. Sometimes it be like that.

On a whim, I decided to go buy a new car <insert praise break>. This is my first brand new Lexus! Meet Barq’s! He got the name because my brother said the car is the color of root beer. lol. I’m so cleva! Wait, I know someone maybe thinking, “how he get a car when he just said he didn’t have no money.” You’ll have to take that up with Sewell Lexus and the credit bureaus.

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My goddaughter Taelor and I went to sawThe Nutcracker on December 2nd. Neither one of us have been to the ballet. Saying that we were excited was an understatement. She was totally surprised as she didn’t have a clue that we were going to the show until we pulled up. Now that I am thinking about it, this will be her Christmas gift! Shoot, cause I ain’t got no money.

So we got there a few minutes late because we had to make a couple stops one of which included Whataburger! I love them. The show had already started. I ain’t gon’ lie. We were confused. We didn’t know what was going on or why. Of course there were not speaking parts. It’s was too dark in the theater to try and read the program. I had use what little common sense the Lord gave me but I didn’t feel like thinking that hard because the “itis” was falling upon me from that Whataburger meal. Taelor was dozing off. I am not sure if it was because she stayed up all night at a sleepover or if the Nutcraker was putting in her into a slumber. I was tickled when she would wake up clapping as if she knew what was going on! All in all it was a great show and nice way to end my year of new.

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I would like to challenge everyone reading this to do something different in 2019. Life is fleeting. Why not engage in something you’d remember for the remaining time you have here on this planet. You only got one life to live. Live it up!